Ah, the world of homeschooling, where everyday life transforms into a classroom, and your dining table moonlights as a desk. It’s a journey filled with both wonder and woe, but one thing’s for sure: not all homeschool curriculums are created equal. As we explore this educational adventure, we’ll meander through the challenging landscape of homeschooling, pointing out seven curriculums that are about as useful as a chocolate teapot. So, grab your thinking caps, or maybe just a comfy pair of slippers, as we delve into the amusing world of ‘What Were They Thinking?’ educational resources!
I hope you enjoy reading this blog post. If you want to do my course on how to homeschool, click here.
Also, no company, curriculum creator, or cute animals were harmed or scalded in the making of this video. I only analyzed curriculum content and then left it just as I found it.
A curriculum I won’t use.
First, if you wanna mess up your kids’ education, use a secular curriculum.
Public schools always do. They leave the Bible out and usually add in humanism. You know, fact-based science, like evolution and the Big Bang theory.
Your kids get to spend 12 years trying to prove that nothing created everything.
They often throw in critical race theory, too, which isn’t really a theory, and change history so it doesn’t offend anyone.
Who wouldn’t want such a considerate curriculum?
Pandia press is a great example of a secular curriculum. Their website boasts that they don’t “posit any religious beliefs as factual” and that evolution and big bang theory are “valid and standard science.”
They also repackage history with books like, Rethinking Columbus. It’s a two-for-one. You can undermine your kids’ education AND their faith at the same time!
On the other hand, the Acellus programs are secular, but they’re not openly anti-Christian. Don’t worry, though; they offer online courses for public schools–so you can probably mess up your kids’ education with them, too.
And if, for some crazy reason, you want your kids to have a good, Christian-based education, there are lots of curriculums to choose from.
And that brings me to the second way to mess up your kids’ education.
Get a curriculum with the woke agenda casually woven into all the lessons.
ABC Reading Eggs does this really well.
It’s a reading and math program for kids as young as 4 or 5.
Pretty much everyone assumes elementary reading and math lessons are kid-friendly. They’re reading about puppies and kittens…aren’t they?
Not with this one.
The scenarios kids read are pushing a totally inappropriate social agenda, but it’s presented as totally normal.
That way, your kids get used to things like girls having girlfriends and phrases like “sexual harassment” and “birth control”.
Definitely, vocabulary your small kids need to know…out with Christian morals—they’re too offensive these days.
Is anyone else thinking of Romans 1?
Seriously, if you come across this program…RUN like a scalded cat! I like cats—it’s just an expression…
Christian without the Gospel
A third curriculum style to avoid is one that says it’s Christian, but doesn’t teach the gospel. Values without substance, anyone?
One curriculum that does this is The Good and the Beautiful. (Hold up one of their books if you can.)
While it teaches good values, it draws from several denominations, some with good doctrine, some with false doctrines.
Obviously, the gospel message isn’t gonna be consistent.
Hmm–how to solve this problem?
Easy, just leave the gospel out. After all, it’s only the foundation of Christianity, right?
And here’s a fourth way to mess up their education: Make sure the curriculum is way too easy.
Did you know Albert Einstein taught himself calculus by age 15?
And he did it because his public school lessons were too easy. But who wants smart kids like that…
Get your kids a “too easy” curriculum. You’ll know what’s too easy for your kids. It might be Masterbooks for people like me.
But just to be fair, there are lots of people who love and use it.
You can also use ACE Paces, but it’s often way too easy for a lot of kids. It can be ridiculously easy.
Want a fifth way to mess up your kids’ education? Bore them out of learning with curriculums that are really structured and rigid.
Abeka is a great curriculum if you want long videos for your kids to sleep through—I mean, watch, and no way to customize lessons or be creative.
Some kids actually like learning that way. And it will definitely suit some children.
But if you want a more flexible curriculum with shorter videos and lots of hands-on activities, I highly recommend the BJU program.
No Critical Thinking
A sixth way to mess up your kids’ schooling? Don’t teach them critical thinking skills.
Make sure they don’t learn to infer the meaning from a text, or explain, determine, and justify arguments. Learning this would put them at risk for independent thinking.
Teachers Manual Curriculums
And finally, the best way to mess up your kids’ education is burnout. Be honest moms. When did you have extra time in a day for prepping lessons?
Teaching takes all the time you have and then some.
If you try to prep and teach, you’ll be taking the “school” out of homeschool in no time.
Burnout is the best way to copy public education too.
Seriously. After you burn out, you won’t be teaching anymore, just babysitting…
So whatever you do, don’t buy a good curriculum with a teacher manual included, like the Christian-based Horizons by AOP.
There are lots of others too, so you’ll have to look really hard for a time-consuming curriculum that’ll steal your motivation.
And don’t read my blog post linked here on open-and-go curriculum options either. You’ll love them way too much!
Parents can just—you know–open them and go! No prep work!
And on a serious note: These are all just suggestions. If you like or use any of the curriculums mentioned here, I totally respect that. Your kids are your responsibility and you have to do what you think is best for them.
Need Way More Info About Homeschooling?
If you’re feeling you’d love a fundamentals course on how parents should homeschool, make sure you check out my fun Homeschool Parenting Program here.
It’s affordable and educational. You’ll love it.