Homeschool Socialization: How to Socialize Homeschoolers and Why!

Can children be adequately socialized at home? Or do they need to go to school to become properly socialized? Should peer socialization be started at the youngest possible age to ensure a child can discover the world without being tied to mommy’s apron strings? Or can this socialization process be done effectively at home? In fact, mightn’t homeschool socialization work better than school socialization? This is the conclusion many home educators have reached, and this article lays out why that is the case. 

Rebbecca Devitt

I hope you enjoy reading this blog post. If you want to do my course on how to homeschool, click here.

What is Homeschool Socialization?

Before diving in and looking at homeschooling socialization, it’s helpful to define what socialization entails. The two top meanings given to socialization by Google are now:

  1. the activity of mixing socially with others and
  2. learning to behave in a way that’s acceptable to society.

While most children are mainly socialized in schools, homeschoolers get their social interaction from outside influences and influences inside the home.

8 Ways to Socialize Homeschoolers

How to Socialize Homeschooled Children

One of the main concerns for homeschooling parents is socialization. How will their children learn to interact with others if not in a traditional school? There are many ways to socialize homeschoolers.

Homeschool Groups

The most obvious way is to join a homeschool group. Many online and local groups offer opportunities for co-op learning, field trips, and social activities.

Church

Many homeschoolers belong to local churches. These are great ways to socialize, and homeschoolers can get extra involved by jumping on a church roster and offering to help out with various tasks on the day.

Community

Get involved in the community. Join a club, take classes at the local community center, or participate in sports leagues.

People are Everywhere!

If you have an eye for it, social opportunities are everywhere. From the local greengrocer to the neighbor you pass on the street. Make every interaction a social one!

Playdates

Have playdates with friends from school or church. Or invite friends over for a game night or movie night. This is an excellent way for homeschool kids to feel they have close homeschool relationships.

Bible Study

My husband and I run a Bible study homegroup. One of the benefits of the Bible study is that my children get to have amazing interactions with the same people every week. I love that the people in our group are godly examples, and the children are encouraged in their faith and get an opportunity to socialize!

Sport

Sport is a great place to get regular homeschool socialization. Children can get fit and have fun as the endorphins run around their bodies. They bond with their teammates, and parents have an opportunity to socialize with other parents on the sidelines too!

Neighbors

Neighbors are an excellent source of social interaction for homeschoolers. They’re always there, and they can often be relied on for this or that.

Homeschool Co-ops

Homeschool co-ops are among the best places to find quality homeschool socialization for parents and children. Parents get to talk to each other about their problems and solutions, and children get to hang out with each other. Win-win!

 

How to Find Homeschool Groups in Your Area

There are a couple of ways to find homeschool groups in your area, and these are through:

  • Facebook
  • churches
  • communities

Find out more about how to do this below.

Finding a Homeschool Group Through Facebook

If you have Facebook, go to the search bar and type in your suburb followed by the words, ‘homeschool group.’

If nothing appears, type in a surrounding suburb OR a larger, more general area and see if something comes up. There will usually be something close by!

Finding a Homeschool Group Through Churches

If you don’t have Facebook, the best place to hook up with other homeschoolers in your area is to ask local churches. The pastors will often be happy to give your number to any homeschool family in the church.

Finding a Homeschool Group Through Community

If you don’t have a church near you, the best thing to do might be to call the council and ask for any groups in the area. Between these three options, I’m sure you’ll be able to connect to a few families!

Why Homeschool Socialization Can Teach Children Better Than Schools

Sadly, many parents are dissuaded from home educating as they believe children need other children to properly educate them on how to behave themselves in society socially.

But, from the many examples I’ve seen, home-educated students are taught these things by their parents and, therefore, don’t need to be taught by anyone else.

Furthermore, it is easily argued that parents best teach socialization (that is, how we should act in society) as parents intentionally teach these things, incorporating truths and morals in their lessons (such as ‘do unto others as they would have you do unto them’).

In contrast, some public school students socialize other students by teaching them bad habits and exerting negative peer pressure.

Homeschool Socialization vs. Public School Socialization

While there seem to be relatively few problems with how home educators socialize their children, there are inherent problems with public school socialization.
One problem has to do with where children get their identity. Due to the overwhelming fear of criticism or desire to fit in, most school students suppress their individuality and adopt a group identity.
As a result, their behavior is often changed to adopt the crowd’s morals and values.
This happens more and more the longer children stay in contact with the crowd. Subsequently, school students experience peak peer pressure in their teenage years.

Research on Homeschool vs Public School Socialization

Scholars confirm public school students are detrimentally influenced by school socialization – something easily perceived when they are compared with homeschoolers:

  • Dr. Michael Mitchell found ‘being popular, aggressively competitive, materialistically driven and self-confident are traits promoted in conventional schoolsthese campus ideals are discouraged by Christian home educators in favor of building their children’s character and dismantling selfish ambitions. Integrity, responsibility, respect for others, trust in God, biblical soundness, and an amiable disposition topped the ideal social qualities they desired their youth to embody.’
  • Dr. Thomas Smedley found homeschoolers have superior socialization skills… He conducted a study in which he administered the Vineyard Adaptive Behavior Scales test to identify mature and well-adapted behaviors in children. [Homeschooled children] ranked in the 84th percentile, compared to public school students, who were drastically lower in the 23rd.’
  • Dr. Michael Slavinski reports, ‘The mass socialization conducted within schools has brought about a proliferation of delinquent behavior within this nation’s youth… student bodies are increasingly riddled with violence, drugs, promiscuity, emotional disorders, crime, contempt for authority, desperate behavior, illiteracy, and peer dependency – just to name a few.’
  • Dr. Larry Shyers did the Direct Observation Form of the Child Behavior Checklist in a study designed ‘to identify 97 problematic behaviors in two groups of children. Traditionally schooled students exuded eight times as many antisocial traits [compared to] their homeschooled counterparts.’

While these studies are all done by pro-homeschooling researchers, no studies contradict this research. If public school socialization were the pinnacle of effective socialization, there should be a ream of research evidencing the fact.

It seems that government researchers started on this track. Still, results were so damning and embarrassing that authorities decided to end the situation:

After a few years of suffering public embarrassment from press reports of homeschoolers outperforming public school students, officials started giving homeschool students different tests so that a direct comparison was no longer possible.

Public Now Recognizes Socialization in Homeschools is Not an Issue

The socialization argument is grossly overstated and has been proven by researchers who have tested this question statistically and found that homeschools do a better job of socializing children than schools.

As these results have reached the public, general feelings towards homeschooling have improved as people now realize homeschooling can do a better, if not adequate, job of socializing and educating students.

Parents Acutely Aware of the Socialization Argument!

Perhaps the main benefit of the homeschooling socialization argument being bandied around so much has been the awareness about socialization it has raised.

Parents who embark on the home education journey are usually acutely aware of the importance of socializing children and the problems that occur when it’s not done.

For this reason, many families bandy together in groups for social meetings several times a week.

I haven’t yet met any parents who have utterly failed to socialize their children, making me suspect this phenomenon is rarer than publicly thought.

Homeschool socialization meme

Homeschoolers Socialize With Wider Age Groups

Homeschoolers in social groups learn to socialize with children of all ages, not just children their own age. They often make good friends with other homeschooling parents and adopt them as mentors throughout their educational journey.

Unlike schoolchildren, home-educated students aren’t confined to socializing with one age group for many hours. This is good as children learn to respect their elders more and discover how to look after and value younger children.

Homeschoolers Follow Parents’ Beliefs More Than Peers

Instead of getting their identity from their peers in school, homeschoolers get their identity more from their parents and siblings.

If Christian values are fostered in the home and parents live gospel-centered lives, home-educated students also find their identity in Christ.

If you look into the above linked Gen2 study, you find a strong correlation between parents and children’s religious and political beliefs if homeschooled.

Yet, public school children don’t have this same correlation, showing they’re not getting their ideas from their parents as much as homeschoolers are.

This is understandable as public school students don’t spend all day with their parents as homeschoolers do.

Socialization a Result of the Media?

Children are a result of their influences. For homeschoolers, the main influences are usually parents – but if children watch a lot of television, television can become their primary influence.

Homeschoolers or public school children who have heavy media inputs will have a character affected by this. The National Center for Biotechnology Information put it like this:

The American Academy of Pediatrics recognizes exposure to violence in media, including television, movies, music, and video games, as a significant risk to the health of children and adolescents. Extensive research indicates that media violence can contribute to aggressive behavior, desensitization to violence, nightmares, and fear of being harmed. Pediatricians should assess their patients’ level of media exposure and intervene on media-related health risks. Pediatricians and other child health care providers can advocate for a safer media environment for children by encouraging media literacy, more thoughtful and proactive use of media by children and their parents, more responsible portrayal of violence by media producers, and more valuable and effective media ratings. [Reference]

Those who watch a lot of television or play many computer games can’t help but absorb some of the content they’re ingesting.

Homeschool socialization meme

Socialization in Remote Areas

Some parents think they can’t homeschool if they live in remote communities as there are too few homeschool socialization opportunities.

But, while finding social groups in remote areas can be challenging, great travel options and the internet make socialization easier.

Social opportunities come in many forms, and we should encourage relationships with people of all ages.

This means parents can encourage socialization between their homeschooled children and farmworkers, corner store checkout operators, and postmen.

In my experience, homeschoolers are great at making friends with anyone who comes across their path as they’re not inhibited by what their friends at school might say about the new relationship.

In addition, homeschoolers are often willing to talk to anyone and sometimes prefer more mature conversations with older people as they have similar content to what their parents talk to them about.

Consequently, home-educated students have fewer superficial conversations about popular media and more deep discussions about more weighty issues.

Deliberate Isolation by Homeschooling Parents

When parents deliberately isolate their home-educated students, despite having good socialization opportunities, homeschooling can become a nightmare for the children.

Homeschooling is just a tool. Homeschooling can be used well or irresponsibly. It is not used well when parents (1) deliberately neglect or (2) isolate their children because they fear all contact with unsanitary influences outside the home.

In the first instance, parents who neglect their children’s social needs will find homeschooling is a tool that allows them to abuse their children with more impunity than they might be able to if their children were at school.

In the second instance, parents will find their children resent them for isolating them and failing to find suitable socializing opportunities.

Also, if children aren’t raised learning to deal with the world, they find it difficult when they eventually need to enter it.

When I hear homeschoolers recounting their painful experiences (as seen on the Homeschooling’s Invisible Children website), I don’t doubt their stories are true. But, it gives me great pain as my social experience with home education was so amazing.

However, the instances of social isolation are few and seem to be the exception rather than the rule of the typical home-educating family.

Research on Homeschooling and  Socialization

Many homeschooling families join social groups to get their weekly social fix. Research shows most homeschoolers are regularly social in five different settings. These settings are usually in a church, Bible study, sports teams, or hobby clubs.

Researcher Brian Ray noticed constant socialization among homeschoolers in his study, saying, ‘Home-educated children are doing well. They’re typically above average, on measures of social, emotional and psychological development.’

Another researcher, Greg Cizek, said, ‘If anything, research shows that because [homeschooling] parents are so sensitive to the charge, they expose [their children] to many activities.’

Glenda Jackson, a homeschooling researcher, discovered homeschoolers are generally well-adjusted and have high self-esteem. Homeschooling expert Steven Kelley also pointed to several studies that found the psychological self-concept of public school students was lower than homeschoolers.

These promising results were thought to be due to homeschoolers having higher support, involvement, independence, responsibility, and self-worth.

They also have lower stress levels, and homeschoolers have more contact with parental love.

Homeschool Socialization and Self-Concept

Kelley said this about homeschool socialization and self-concept:

[Homeschoolers] academic self-concept, at the 72nd percentile, was above the national [American] average and was positively related to achievement. They have above-average self-esteem in multiple studies. They are not isolated but active, contributing members of society, even in childhood. Ninety-eight percent are involved in weekly church meetings and other activities that require interfacing with various ages and settings.

Private school nine-year-olds were more influenced by or concerned with peers than a comparative home-educated group. It appears [homeschoolers] perceived their parents as primary author figures more often than private school children. Homeschoolers’ self-concept was just as strong as that of private school students and higher than public school students, all of whom in this study attended Baptist (Christian) churches. All three groups were above national norms.
​​
An evaluation of the communication skills, socialization, and daily living skills of demographically matched publicly schooled and home-educated students revealed ‘the home-educated children in this sample were significantly better socialized and more mature than those in public school. The immediate implication is that homeschool families are providing adequately for socialization needs.

The findings of this study indicate children kept home are more mature and better socialized than those who are sent to school.[Source]

Discover why #socialization in homeschools is a better option compared to public school socialization.

Testimonies on Homeschooling and Socialization

When researching my book, Why on Earth Homeschool, I interviewed several students about their homeschooled social experiences.

Emily-Jane’s Homeschool Socialization Experience

One home-educated student, Emily-Jane, talked about the homeschool socialization her family had in the community:

We were really involved with the Armidale homeschooling group. Once a week, we would go to an ice rink a homeschool family owned. We also went to the art gallery every fortnight. Here we would copy art pictures on the wall onto a sketchbook. Sometimes they’d have hands-on, interactive things and different projects set up for school groups, like sculpting. Some homeschoolers lived on farms, so we went blackberry picking and yabbying in their dam. Then we came to Canberra and joined another homeschool group with 12 families. When I was 12 years old, my sister and I started ‘Mothers of Preschoolers’, where mothers could come together for a Bible talk while we minded their children.

Emily-Jane didn’t suffer from a lack of socialization.

Melissa’s Homeschool Socialization Experience

Another homeschooler, Melissa, also loved her social experience:

My parents went to great lengths to socialize us. We had church every Sunday, and my father started a youth group to encourage meetings with young Christians. We met weekly with a homeschooling group, and six of us had regular dance, music, and languages classes. My parents were utterly dedicated to our education, but frequently socializing ranked higher in our family’s priorities.

Although Melissa’s family valued homeschool socialization more than education, all her siblings did amazingly well and academically scored well into the 20th percentile.

Best friends, Ben and Jesse, also said they had a positive homeschooling socialization experience:

We grew up together in a homeschooling group with four or five large families. Each family did their own thing [academically], and then we socialized together through the week. We all knew each other through church.

Book: Why on Earth Homeschool by Rebbecca Devitt
Why on Earth Homeschool Book.

From these interviews, I found home educated students were certainly doing no worse than their peers in public school. Many loved their social experiences and developed into well-rounded individuals able to interact effectively with people of all ages and backgrounds.

Why on Earth Homeschool: The Case for Christian Homeschooling.
Grab a copy of the book.

Conclusion

Most homeschooling parents are so aware that a lack of socialization has adverse effects that they strive to socialize their children thoroughly. Research indicates that home-educated children are not deficient in social skills and can fit into society well after finishing their homeschool. So if you’re thinking about homeschooling and you’re worried about socialization, don’t be. Just get your children into social groups, and they’ll be socialized!

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Rebecca Devitt

Most adults don't particularly want to relive their schooling experience on a daily basis. They would gladly move on to a new life devoid of homework and teachers. Very, very few adults will passionately blog about their schooling some 15 years after graduating. This makes Rebecca Devitt somewhat unique. As it happens, she was homeschooled. And she loved it. Still does. And she wishes every kid could get a taste of homeschooling at its very best. Her website How Do I Homeschool, is a springboard for parents to see what a life of homeschooling could be for both them & their children. When she's not blogging Rebecca is still homeschooling her-adult-self by learning Latin, growing weird vegetables and most importantly looking after her two children Luke & Penny. She has a husband Tristan and is a participant at Wollongong Baptist Church. She's also written a book about why parents should homeschool called 'Why on Earth Homeschool'.

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  1. Aren’t homeschoolers being raised not fully understanding or grasping the concept that its a very diverse world with usually more than one way to fix whatever problem they encounter?